Friday, January 30, 2015

Feena the Glowing Cat Savage

This doll is a Bratzillaz character, Sashabella Paws to be exact. Got it? Good, now forget it because she's actually...

Feena the Glowing Cat Savage! Thrilling danger in the darkest of jungles! Tally-ho, adventure! That's who she is to me, anyway, and when you get down to it that's all that matters. I'm sure I've covered this before, but it's A-okay to create a new back story for a figure that you love. In fact, one of the hallmarks of a great toy is when you can enjoy it, even if you know nothing about what movie/comic/game it originates from. And gee-whizzers is there alot to love about Feena! RAWR!

Fisrst of all, that get up. Do you even realize how much I love fur bikinis? Between He-man and Giganta, fuzzy breach cloths basically shaped my malleable little mind. So when I found this lovely vision shoved behind the monster high boxes all by herself, my heart stopped. I had no idea this line even existed. I HAD NO IDEA A DOLL OF A CAT LADY IN A REAL FUR BIKINI EXISTED. And yet here she was, staring me in the face with those eyes. Those gorgeous domed eyes with realistic cat's eye pupils. Also, her necklace. It's made of tiny bird and monkey skulls. A girls fashion doll has a necklace made of bird and monkey skulls! The scholars will denote this as a golden age.

The skulls are painted a sunset orange that reminds me of the little cavemen from the Primal Rage toy line. This makes me warm all over.

I guess the obvious thing to do here would be compare her to Monster High dolls. She's stockier and more buxom than her ghoulish competition, which helps her stand out in a crowd. Unfortunately these dolls have molded on and painted underwear bottoms which put a hamper on some costuming options. She's almost as articulated as Venus there, except she can't rotate at the knees. Her knees are actually kind of loosey goosey, which is a bummer but she has a NICELY ball jointed waist which almost makes up for it. After all she's given me, I can easily overlook a few little construction flaws. But you know what really helps? HER ENTIRE BODY GLOWS IN THE DARK! AHHH! How did this even happen? Whoever made this happen, you've crafted a masterwork. You are a paragon of fashion dolls. You deserve so much more. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got non-existent pulp comics starring a glow in the dark cat lady that fights gorillas to day dream about. My daydreams are strangely specific and overly elaborate.

The Fluorescent Queen of Fauna in a Dangerous Game of Death! 25 Pages of Heart Valve Rupturing EXCITEMENT!!!

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