Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Ghoul Aid Jammers

My ghastly acquaintances, meet the official drink of Halloween 2013.

Ghoul-aid Jammers! Ghoul-aid has always been top dog on the spooky drink totem pole (know your place, Jones soda co.) but now for 2 bucks, you don't even have to make it! No more sugar sticking to your feet and tangy powder up your nose... maybe I'm just horrible at making Kool-aid. But no more! My cup is made of silver foil, and it runneth over. Or should I say DOESN'T runneth over, 'cuz it comes with a convenient straw! I await your rebuttal, powder-peasants.

I wouldn't want to drink something that tastes like blackberries every day, but it just feels right in October. Blackberries are the most sadistic of berries after all. If you even have to ask why, you've obviously never picked them. Tiny thorns and splinters in your hands for days, and the staining. Nothing can stop the staining.

The best thing about buying pre-made Kool-aid is that you KNOW it's going to taste like it's supposed to. Kool-aid is an intricate chemical ballet of water to sugar ratios, and no two hand mixed batches will EVER taste the same. But this is straight from the source. You couldn't find better quality Ghoul-aid if you drank straight from the Kool-aid man's cherry liquid innards. OH YEAH!

"Godzilla love Ghoul-aid! It quench Gamma sized thirst!"

Why did Godzilla switch brains with the Hulk? Because there's only so much to say about Kool-aid in pouches. And "SKREEEEEEEE-OOOOONK" Doesn't convey the message here. That message being, "Buy Kool-aid in pouches."

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