Thursday, December 15, 2011

Miracle on Orc Street

It's that time of year again in Azeroth: Winter's veil! The streets of Orgrimmar are choked with festive goblins and EVERY PLAYER ON THE SERVER JUMPING AROUND AND LAGGING YOUR COMPUTER TO DEATH. Let's go see merry old Great Father Winter!

Screw you Great Father Winter, you fat extortionist! He won't give me a thing until I bring him five gingerbread cookies and a glass of milk. Sunova- fine, I've been leveling my cooking anyway. I need five eggs, which I can get from the blood elf starting area. TO UNDERCITY! 

Oh GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? Yeah, thanks Blizzard for signing a deal with Mr. T. Now I'm stuck with this wretched abomination crying it's eyes out the entire flight to the Eastern Kingdoms. 

You know, this is a long ass trip through three cities on two continents for five freakin' eggs. Fatty better give me a pony. At least the Forsaken are in the spirit of things. Get it? Spirit?  Cuz they're dead!...Let's just bake these damn cookies. 

Alright, I've merrily slaughtered three helpless dragonhawks and taken their eggs, all in the name of one fat semi-mythical saint's afternoon snack. Their blood is on your hands, father Winter. And probably in these cookies. I'm an adventurer, not a chef.

Ooooooh goodies! Let's rip it open's leather. Just freakin' leather. I don't even use leather. Maybe if you laid off the ale Mr. Father Winter... at least I've got some milk and cookies left. Here's hoping my  actual Winter's Veil gift is better. I mean it has to be right? C'MON, PONY!

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