Monday, October 10, 2011

Punch Viruses in the Face

Anyone who has seen the Digimon movie knows that the best fifteen minutes of anything EVER are right there in the first two parts, and the rest is a total downhill jumbled mess. Haven't been blessed by this miraculous feat of animation? Go, cleanse your unholy tainted soul, and come back forthwith. Well, what if I told you that there was an entire movie's worth of that. That magic special something, just waiting to fill the void left in your soul? Look no further. Summer Wars is here.

Basically, it's the story of a code-monkey math nerd's struggle to stop the world from ending and save the internets, while trapped in a cabin with a lot of computer illiterate jackasses who won't stop squabbling over their own petty problems. Oooooh I can't be mean, their a bunch of lovable louts and you'll get over how much they slow down the plot by the end of things. You know, since they are the plot. I never thought a movie about hackers, nerds, and vidjya junkies trying to get back their hacked facebook profiles would be a poignant look at the family dynamic. Don't look at me like that, the cartoon violence is coming.

First, let me explain this world. Everything and everyone is tied together by one big social networking site, OZ. Transactions, infrastructure, military, everything. Now imagine a virus hacks the system and decides to pull the greatest troll in history. Yeah. And mister computer nerd just happens to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with the world's best PvPer. (A 13 year old asian kid. Who'da thunkit?) The only way to save the world, stop the God of All Trolls, mend a broken family together, and be de-flowered by the emotionally compromised lady-friend? GOOD OLD FASHIONED C-C-COMBO BREAKAHS!!! 

It's a roller coaster ride, I swear. You need the slower parts with the family to get a moment to calm the hell down. the entire time the virtual world is shown, you will be yelling. I never yell. I was yelling very lude, incomprehensible things at my television. It's that exciting. Seriously, if you like anime, the internet, the vidja, or just rabbit-men punching Hindu Gods, watch it. 

As the observant (read: not blind) may have noticed, when I like something I NEED toys of it. Figma did a great set of Summer Wars figs, but unfortunately Japanese imports just aren't within my means. But that's okay...'cuz there's always papercraft! Here's a great looking King Kazma pattern based on the template, go forth and cut! Glue! Glue you fools!

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