Tuesday, June 28, 2011


With Transformers 3: Electric Moon-aloo releasing tomorrow, it seems like a good time to bring up my favorite morph-o-bot. Bantor. That's right, the tiger baboon. How much do I like Bantor? This site came dangerously close to being Tigerboon.blag-o-blargh.com. 

I know I'm a horrible hipster who likes a character nobody knows about, but it's not because of anything he's done in the fiction (because he hasn't done anything. At all.). It's because the toy itself means something to me. See, when Bantor was released in 1998 I was 8. Bantor also went on sale across the nation in '98 because apparently nobody loves tigerboons (savages). But it wasn't in a store that I found my Bantor, but in a banged up garage sale box for a buck, in brand new condition the year he was released. I picked him up out of curiosity and my love of apes, but I knew right away that Mr. Monkeystripes and I were destined to be bros of the highest order.

See that guy in the pictures? That's him. My very first Transformer, and I still keep him on my desk. Ready for some hardcore time-wasting posing action whenever he's needed. I should also mention he's a damn good figure, no matter what era. This guy was rocking super articulation before it was a word.

As for Bantor's popularity, there are maybe three pieces of fanart of him out there. That's less than Skram, the guy who turns into a WHEEL. Yeah. Let's correct this injustice shall we? Now there's four.


So, will my favorite Transformer ever appear in the shows or comics or movies? Probably not, but I'm okay with that. Because he's not just any Transformer. He's MY Transformer.


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Turtle Suicide Watch

So, Gamera here stranded himself in my yard. Again. That makes twice now I've had to pull his well protected ass out of the fire. Some people will do anything for attention.

Monday, June 20, 2011

She Be a Screamer

Welcome, ladies and gents! Rather than bore you with an ego-jerking introduction, let's jump into the middle of some hot brick on brick action...

The local house of the spotted dog had Halo Mega-Bloks Banshees on sale, and I CHALLENGE YOU to show me a man who can resist vaguely phallic alien spaceships.


And some stickers, too. So now tha- HA HA OH WOW. He's freakin' red! Before opening the box I would've sworn on the Pope's testicles that the elite was the same copper one I already have! Professionalism, dear audience! Always do the research.

Sudden surprises aside, let's get to brick-slappin'. Now, you could organize these into nice neat piles IF YOU'RE A POOZER! CUZ ORGANIZATION IS FOR POOZERS!

Things are shapin' up now, lassies! Now some block company obsessives would have you  believe that Mega-bloks are filthy dirty peasant fair, unfit to build toilets for scabies-addled pirates with. These people are dead wrong, and let's face it there can only be so many ways to make bumpy slabs of plastic squash together. Lego, Bloks, Kre-o, we're all hollow on the inside. Except K'nex. To hell with K'nex I say.

And There we ar- OOPS FORGOT THE STICKERS. Okay, crisis averted. The best way to apply stickers is to take a tooth pick and smooth out the edges.BUT I DIDN'T! ORGANIZATION= POOZERS

Honestly this thing is just gorgeous, all sleek Giger-domes and those blue thrusters. And for ten bucks You get a big ass spaceship and alien pilot! There's nothing to the build, so any old sod should be just fine picking it up and man-handling it a bit. You'll be camping bases and crushing my dreams of captured flags in no time!

So, peekers and voyeurs, that was our first article. Was it everything you dreamed of? Well, hike up your adventure pants and take my hand, because this train's leaving the station and there's DESTINY on the horizon!